Breathless!

After a full year of planning preparation, and implementation, the Auction is - almost unbelievably - in our rear view mirror.  And what a view it is!

We depend on the Auction as our major fundraising venture, but anyone who's ever attended or contributed to one of its many committees knows that, in reality, it's so much more.  In terms of the almost magical way that so many separate components come together to create this one magnificent event, it is, perhaps, the very definition of St. Robert community.  Words will never adequately convey my appreciation for the labors of love, creative energy, and hours upon hours of effort that came together to bring it to life.

To Doris Brosnan and Rob Sullivan and Melissa and Jeff Hicks:  Thank you for taking the helm and leading this venture from conceptualization to actualization.  You made a fairy-tale dream into reality through your gifts of vision, drive, sweat, and time.

To our committee chairs and volunteer teams: Thank you for your laser focus and proud commitment to one component of this big machine.  Whether it was item inventory, clean-up, underwriting, or one of the other 17 "parts," your contributions were an essential contribution to making the whole machine accomplish its mission.

To our corporate sponsors, especially Von Briesen and Roper Law, Mosaic Marketing, the Fox Company, and US Bank:  Thank you for channeling your community support through our little school and endorsing the work we're doing to prepare a highly competent workforce of the future.

To our underwriters and many, many item donors:  Thank you for your generous contributions - often creatively packaged - and your confidence in our mission.

To every guest who attended:  Thank you for setting aside time to celebrate St. Robert School; for dressing up and getting a sitter; for breathing life into our party; for making our community stronger.

To guests who entered into spirited bidding and those who went home with winning purchases:  Thank your for opening your wallets and your hearts to help us achieve our essential fundraising mission.

Although the final numbers are not in yet, preliminary calculations indicate that the auction netted in the ballpark of $232,000, including a record of $56,453 in donations to "Operation Spectre," our media center renovation proposal.  Every year, we build this event, and then hold our breath to see if "they will come."  This year, we took an especially big risk in building in an "Ask" that required some understanding of educational pedagogy.  We truly held our breath with uncertainty about whether you would embrace the future through this lens of changing needs.  Although I've finally exhaled, your response has left me breathless!

I extend my humble gratitude to the Home and School Association and Athletic Association for your respective $10,000 and $4,000 challenge gifts.  Your votes of confidence encouraged so many others to follow your generous lead.  I also extend my special appreciation to the Webers and IS Corporation for your amazing individual gift of $5,000.  Please know that every individual gift built upon this sturdy foundation to get us to goal.  Our students (and teachers!) are looking forward with excitement to working with new technologies in our re-envisioned inspirational space.

Now that a successful Auction is in our rear view mirror, we can turn our eyes toward the next school year with confident enthusiasm.  Let's watch how generosity turns into dreams materialized.

Operation Spectre

When I reflect back over the nearly eleven years of my principalship, the accomplishments that stand out as the most gratifying were those that involved envisioning and designing something new, and, ultimately, having a hand in bringing it to life.  Whether re-defining our mission and vision, guiding philosophical shifts in school culture, or leading massive change in the instructional paradigm, these experiences all afforded the opportunity for creative expression.  I guess that leaving a bit of your own soul in a project is, despite the labor, a deeply satisfying endeavor.   And never is that more concretely felt than in a physical project that has a visible "before-and-after."

The Media Resource Center, designed and built in 2009, was the most ambitious such facility renovation of my tenure.  After over a year of planning, the transformation was completed in a single summer.  Nearly every summer since, I reflect back with my colleague and then-administrative assistant, Karen Raap, on how it was even possible that we completed all that work - and all our regular summer work - in just ten weeks.  I think it was the juice of creativity that propelled us.

It was a year later that the Home and School Association funded $110,000 in technology upgrades hat included interactive whiteboards, the hardwired Mac lab in the Media Resource Center, teacher laptops, and most significantly, the robust wireless network that supports our work today.  That defining moment began a tidal wave of instructional shifts.  In short order, we put mobile technology into the hands of our students and there was no turning back.  It didn't take long to realize that if we had known in 2009 where this foray into mobile technology would take us, we would never have installed a hardwired lab.  

So here we are, nearly eight years later, still using those hearty desktop Macs that were predicted to last only five years.  We have finally reached the sunset of their usefulness, however, as they are no longer capable of accepting updates to the Chrome browser.  Chrome is, quite literally, our lifeline to the Google domain that is our contemporary workspace.  Our plan for a replacement strategy that would move us to more functional and economical Chromebooks providentially aligned with proposing potential projects for the Auction "Ask."  (This is the collaborative effort that has previously funded scholarships and made our new gym floor a reality.)

What began as a functional plan, evolved into a vision of an idealized space to better support the collaborative project work that is the framework of so much of our student learning today.  A conceptualization of the redesigned computer lab portion of our Media Center is in your Home Folders today.  I think you will recognize that the space was designed to support flexibility, collaborative project work, and creativity.

Much has been written about the importance of flexible-use spaces in educational environments of the future.  (See Horizon Report).   The transformation of our static computer lab into an inspiring creative learning lab is the next critical step in keeping our school relevant and forward-thinking.   It will also send a confident message to prospective families, potentially attracting new students that would be a significant return on investment.

The only way we can manage a transformation of this scale in today's economy, however, is to pool our resources, as we did for the gym project last year.  In the spirit of our James Bond Auction theme, this project has been dubbed "Operation Spectre." Thank you for whatever you can contribute to making this reimagined space a reality.  If you won't be at the Auction, you can still participate.  Simply send a check to the office made out to St. Robert Home and School Association with "Operation Spectre" in the memo line.  No gift is too small.  It's, rather, many gifts that will enable this project to come to life.

If we accomplish our fundraising mission, we will be able to give our children an inspiring workspace and excellent tools to support their creative endeavors.  Can I put this renovation on my summer To-Do list?

Prescription for an interior life

Mindfulness is a buzzword in education today.  Is is just a "flavor of the day" or something to, well - mind?   It's been defined as "paying attention on purpose." Being mindful is to be fully aware of feelings, thoughts, and sensations.  It's accomplished by intentionally focusing physical and mental attention on the present moment.   Nearly everyone has the capacity to do this, but today's hyper-stimulating, often competing realities very easily drive us to distraction and make this seemingly simple skill increasingly out of reach for many - especially our children, who were born into an always-on world and often experience heavy doses of adult-directed activity.

Children are arriving to school, ironically, more able to read, but less able to self-regulate activity or emotion, to sustain attention to task, to think deeply, to persist through problems.  So, though mindfulness training has long been a therapeutic technique, it has worked its way into schools in a big way in recent years to combat these challenges.  Teachers are learning mindfulness exercises to do with their classes. Programs are popping up and specialists coming in to work with teachers or deliver instruction directly to students.  Mindfulness sessions have even replaced after-school detention in some schools with impressive results.  I had the opportunity a few weeks ago to observe a classroom mindfulness lesson taught to our first graders by two of our school parents who are mental health professionals.  It has provoked me to think a lot about why our children - all of us, really - need this.

The simple truth is that people who have the skills to be fully present  - to a task, to others, to their own thoughts - are more intelligent, less anxious, more content, more productive, more successful. The reality of our daily experiences, however, can create a dependency on stimulation and be a powerful force against inner awareness.  As with anything, mindfulness is more readily achievable when we practice.  I've come to the conclusion that we should all be practicing a bit more.  (There are even apps for this!) And what better time to begin than in this beautiful season of Lent?

Wednesday marked the beginning of the liturgical season that culminates in Jesus' death on the cross. As we journey through this special time, we are invited to to take up the crosses of our human imperfection and follow Jesus ever closer to Eternity.  The Church gives us a formula for this 40-day journey that can be likened to spiritual mindfulness:  pray, fast, give of self to others.  All of these take planning, intentionality, full physical and mental presence.

The ultimate goal of our Lenten practices is, of course, to draw closer to God.  We don't need to be intellectual theologians to do this.  We accomplish it most profoundly by simply being with him in that quiet inner space that holds his spirit.  Words are not always necessary in an intimate relationship, but awareness is, mindfulness is.  Make the time to work on an interior life.   And teach your children to do the same.  The practice of fully attending to what really matters will "seep into the pockets of your heart" and bring a peaceful contentment to every area of your life.

Next stop, March 1st!

The half-way point of our school year is upon us.  It's time to pause - just momentarily - to assure we're on track to accomplish the things that need to be done, and it's time to look forward and begin the work of, well, beginning again.  And so it goes.  Life in a school-year rhythm is both comforting and unforgiving in its pace.

Three weeks ago, you received materials in your Home Folder to begin registration for the 2017-18 school year.  In the world of family life, I'm sure this may seem low-priority. I can imagine it could easily be placed on that ever-growing stack of things to look at "when I have time."  This year, however, we will not have the flexibility to accept registrations on a rolling basis, as we have in the past.   Please take some time in these last couple of weeks before the March 1st deadline to begin some family conversations about your educational plans for next school year.  If St. Robert is the right fit, remember to get your registration in soon!

Enrollment is now open to new families and we're excited about the early interest we've had from potential 4K families and families relocating from out of state.  Thanks to everyone who participated in our Open House on Sunday to help generate that enthusiasm.  Whether you worked at the Pancake Breakfast or Book Fair or simply brought your well-mannered neatly-dressed children to interact with our visitors, you have helped us to paint a picture of the possibilities that lie in wait at St. Robert School.

Early commitments will help us make strategic and responsible decisions to keep our school sustainable.  Let's work together to keep this train moving in the right direction!

The common good

Homemade coffeecake and juice were on the menu for this week's "Coffee with the Principal."  It was our first-ever Coffee without actual coffee - and without clear actionable steps forward - but what was abundantly clear is that the topic of school climate and culture is a critical one.

I defined the current status of St. Robert School's culture, or way of life, and our climate, or prevailing "feeling."  I shared my goals to maintain a faithful, rigorous program and a nurturing, safe, and comfortable learning environment, and then dissected the responsibilities of the principal, the teachers, and the parents in positively influencing these elements of the school experience.  It became clear that this is one area in which the school's reach is realistically limited by powerful influences beyond our walls.

We identified some challenges and suggestions that surfaced in last spring's survey on community and diversity.  Those comments centered largely around perceived social challenges - not only among students, but within the parent community as well.  After briefly considering some expert advice on how best to manage such challenges, our group engaged in some thoughtful conversation centered largely on the topic of bullying and exclusion.

We learned that programs and policies don't impact these social power structures.  The unsettling truth is that adults have no effective power to control bullying and exclusion. These forces can only be changed from within peer groups by empowering our kids with prosocial behaviors that have more clout than meanness. It's not enough to teach kids what not to do.  We also have to teach them precisely what to do to promote kindness and compassion among their peers.

Harvard School of Education's Making Caring Common project was launched in response to the concern that young people today are more concerned about their own personal success than the common good.  Student surveys conducted by the project reveal that students perceive that among the qualities of goodness, happiness, and achievement, their parents and teachers rank achievement first for them.  We know that bullying is a side-effect of achievement pressure, and that it is less likely to happen in caring, inclusive school environments.  We further know that promoting healthy social-emotional learning leads not only to improved relationships and health outcomes, but, ironically, to academic gains as well.  So it seems that we have to do some soul-searching about the messages we may be sending - in our words and in our behavior - and make sure that our kids understand that their goodness is more important to us than any other achievement.

In the end, we agreed that the way forward comes down to faith.  When our priority is to look outward and create a caring world, rather than to endorse a "me-centric" view of success, we have the potential to create a community of kids postured to make a positive influence on the world in ways that really matter.

This discussion needs to continue.  Watch for a follow-up Coffee on creating a culture of kindness.

Before you were born

I received a message from a vendor today that included a warm acknowledgement of today's Holy Day along with a memory of her own childhood in Catholic school on December 8th.  It made me pause. Are we doing enough to assure that our children will carry forward a knowledge and reverence for the traditions - and essence - of our faith?

Today is the Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception.  As Catholics, we know this as one of the Holy Days of Obligation, but what, exactly, does that mean?

In addition to every Sunday, there are a few other days in each calendar year that are deemed so important as to require our deliberate attention and participation at Mass.

• January 1 - The solemnity of Mary
• Thursday of the sixth week of Easter - The Feast of the Ascension of our Lord
• August 15 - The Assumption of Mary
• November 1 - The solemnity of All Saints 
• December 8 - The solemnity of the Immaculate Conception
• December 25 - The solemnity of the Nativity of our Lord, or what we more commonly call Christmas

Whenever January 1st,  August 15th, or November 1st falls on a Saturday or on a Monday, a diocese may (and ours does) remove the obligation to attend Mass, often leaving just a few remaining obligatory days each year.  But even so, in this age when even Sunday Mass attendance is viewed as optional, honoring these special days has become less and less common with each passing year.  It seems that as it becomes more commonplace to look at the Holy Days as some quaint remnant of an earlier time, it also becomes easier to get swept up in this momentum of turning away and take the posture that honoring the day must, indeed, be optional - because, look around.  Hardly anyone is going to Mass. But the difficult truth is that it's not optional.  These days are fundamental to our identity - and obligation - as Catholics.  So perhaps, before we wake up and realize that we're more than a generation removed from a real understanding of what we believe, some instruction is in order. 

Because of its proximity to Christmas, many good Catholics misunderstand the Immaculate Conception as referring to the conception of Jesus, but of course if we do the math, it becomes clear that this is not what we honor today.  Rather, it's the conception of the Virgin Mary herself in her mother, Anne's, womb.  We acknowledge today, our fundamental belief that Mary was chosen by God to bear his son from before she was even conceived, and was then conceived without sin to be worthy of this remarkable role.  There's much more to the story of course, as we will learn when we read about Mary's Yes in the Annunciation - at the age of about fourteen.

One remarkable gift for us today is the reminder that God has chosen each of us for some particular role in his grand plan.  To be able to say "yes," we have to hear him calling.  To hear, we have to be listening.  To listen, we have to be in relationship.  Advent is a great time to deepen your relationship with God.  The Holy Days are an opportunity.  Don't miss the opportunity...go to Mass, show your children that this is essential, and reap the harvest of God's amazing plan for your life!

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.     
Jeremiah 1:5                                                                                                      

Simple parenting for a complex age

I had the privilege a couple of weeks ago to attend the presentation on raising resilient children hosted at University School by REDGen, our local youth mental health advocacy organization.  The speaker, Dr. Robert Evans, is a clinical and organizational psychologist and former teacher who works with schools nationwide to support innovation and change.  An area of his particular interest and expertise is the impact that American families have on schools.  Evans is a grandfatherly figure, educated at Princeton and Harvard, which gives him the clout to say some things that could be potentially difficult to hear.  I expected that he might share some new techniques for parenting kids through the complex challenges of our contemporary world.  His message, however, was almost radical in its simplicity, and an important reminder to parents and educators alike that, despite the rapid changes in the world around us, the basics that undergird healthy child development have not changed - and never will. Evans reduced them to three simple - but not always easy - things that children need from their parents:  nurture, structure, and latitude.

Nurture refers to the instinctive relationship between a parent and child.  It forms the bedrock of psychological strengths involved in learning how to relate to others and be part of a community.  The need for it is so primal that babies will fail to thrive - or even die - without it.   Given this knowledge, it is concerning that the amount of time that parents spend with their children has dropped about 20 hours a week over the past 20 years.  Dr. Evans's debunked the fallacy that bursts of intense "quality time" will make up for quantity.  He was very clear that we have to be physically and emotionally present to our children in large doses of low-quality interactions to effect healthy nurture.  And he took us a step further in making the blunt statement that soccer sidelines and virtual or distracted connections are not a substitute for real presence.

Structure is that box of boundary lines that we place around behavior and expectations.  You might be surprised to learn that it's not only comforting for adults to have defined boundaries for their children, but powerfully comforting for children as well.  Fewer children today, however, are learning from early on that that "there's some stuff they have to do and there are some limits on what they want to do."  Dr. Evans pointed out, by contrast, that kids who grow up in homes with clear boundaries have clear advantages when it comes to success in school and in life.  They are better able to see things from another's point of view and to learn from their mistakes, for example. Interestingly, defining and maintaining  limits also conveys our confidence that children can actually accomplish the things we expect of them, thereby building theirs.

Dr. Evans defined latitude as the freedom to learn from logical consequences of non-catastrophic problems.  Healthy latitude, of course, avoids the extremes of maximum autonomy with no protection from danger and maximum protection with no exposure to danger (or opportunity for growth).  Dr. Evans reminded us that the most important lessons in life are learned in a context of loss and disappointment.  What distinguishes children, he says, is not whether these things happen to them, but what they do when these things happen to them.   Today's parents, it seems, are much more likely not only to lack clarity in boundary-setting, but to support their children's outrageous behavior.
His empathetic explanation for all of these radical shifts in parenting was thought-provoking.  He claims that parents are no longer trusting their primitive parenting instincts because of insecurities about exactly what it is they are preparing their children for.   With the rate of societal change so rapid and the choices for children's futures exploding, it has become really hard to be confident about how best to mentor children for success.

Parenting is, in truth, more challenging today than it has ever been.   We can't, of course, change the forces that surround us, but we have to simultaneously acknowledge that the complex ways we're living our lives today does interfere with the healthy development and resilience of our children. Our instinct might be to turn to parenting manuals and self-help gurus for new or better parenting techniques, but Dr. Evans's view was refreshingly simpler.  He advised parents that we're better off being the best of who we are than something we're not.   Kids don't need their parents to be perfect. So, find something you're good at and do more of it, he said.  All kids have fragile moments, but most kids, he reassured, are mostly resilient without any extra effort.

Three simple takeaways that any parent can do more of to improve the outcomes for their children -wherever their futures may lead:

• Don't do things for your children that they can do on their own
• Don't leap to fix problems for your children before they've had a chance to grapple with them on their own 
• Remember that your children don't have to like you all the time, but they do have to learn to be like you

Finally, look at your children's grandparents for some clues about how to be truly present to your children; and, every now and then, act like a grandparent and just enjoy your kids.  Speaking as one, I think you'll find it truly delightful!