We are ONE, part 2

Our theme this year, which comes from the archdiocese, was intended to shine a light on the archbishop's pastoral priorities of Catholic identity, evangelization, and stewardship.  For our community in particular, however, it resonates in a uniquely personal way as well.  "Community" was adopted as a core value of our institution when we wrote our current school mission statement in 2009.  We envisioned the ever-present ideal of  "learning, praying, loving, serving, working, and playing - as one."

The St. Robert School community continuously works toward forging a singular identity out of many sometimes disparate parts.  We live in many different kinds of neighborhoods in many parts of the city and its environs. Our families are representative of multiple races, ethnicities, and religions.  Our students bring a wide range of passions and abilities to their classrooms.  But we are united by our values and, most particularly, our values about education.  So, still, we are one.  Our ongoing efforts toward maintaining a singularity of identity and purpose stands as one of our unique strengths.

We can't forget, though, that the strength of a parish school comes also from an identity entwined with its sponsoring parish. This is another area where our school stands apart. Because our population of new students in any given year does not come primarily from St. Robert Parish, we have had to work strategically and continuously to maintain a oneness of community that understands the school as part of this larger parish identity.

There are, of course, many ways that a parish identity is forged.  Few would dispute that foundational among them is worshipping together every week.  If this isn't realistic for our diverse school community, then we do need to work intentionally at other creative ways to strengthen this critical bond.  A meaningful start would be to simply socialize as a larger extended family.  Don't minimize the potential of familiarity and friendship to build a powerful entity that could accomplish great things - and maybe feed your spirit along the way in ways you didn't even realize you were hungry. Whether or not you have previously engaged in the larger parish family, you are afforded an opportunity to do so this Saturday, September 30th.  

Please join us for our first parish-sponsored Family Fun Night from 5:30-7:30 in the parking lot. Food and fun are are the menu, along with the opportunity to meet up with old friends and make some new ones.  All school families are invited - whether you belong to our parish or not; whether you're Catholic or not.  Let's start playing together in a bigger way this year.  Understanding that we're a parish school isn't enough to keep us strong.  We have to walk the talk.

I hope to see you on Saturday night!

We, who are many, are one body in Christ and individually members of one another.

Romans 12:5

Three questions

A blog post by Meg Conley, who writes on topics of motherhood and childhood, recently caught my attention for its relevance to the changing rhythms of family life that come with the start of school. After a summer of spontaneity and adventure, fall brings with it an opportunity to renew the important ritual of the family dinner.  At a table.  With napkins.  And prayer.  And conversation. Real, interactive conversation.

If this routine is foreign, or you think your children are too little or too teenager-y to embrace a ritual of actual interactive talking and listening, Conley suggests a framework of three provocative questions:

• How were you brave today?
• How were you kind today?
• How did you fail today? 

How brilliant!  To talk about these things daily keeps them on everyone's radar and sets them up as expectations. Hearing our children's answers gives us a glimpse into their evolving challenges and keeps us more intimately connected as a family.  Further, conversations framed on values allow us not only to coach, but to model self-reflection. Talking day upon day about our own attempts at bravery and kindness and our own moments of failure affirms our children's experiences and challenges as normal, and, most importantly, sets them on a course to cherishing critical values and honing important competencies. 

Though you could certainly choose different questions to guide your conversation, I really like the package Conley proposes. The definition of bravery does, of course, change with life's stages and is impacted by one's personality as well, but acts of bravery always bring a sense of accomplishment and hope.  Talking about bravery daily gives parents the opportunity to celebrate those moments when a child asked a teacher for help or stood up to a bully or read in front of the class. It gives Mom and Dad opportunities to reflect on the risks we take in learning something new or defending our values or our faith publicly. When we affirm a family's ever-growing diary of these little moments, we form our children's habits and skills and, eventually, their honorable character.

  

Making kindness part of daily conversation is a reminder to all of us that we are surrounded by opportunities to spread goodness.  From a friendly word to the cook or the janitor to including a marginalized classmate (or coworker), hearing a growing list of daily examples will inspire the entire family to make kindness a habit, not just something for an annual "kindness challenge."

Finally, failure is a necessary ingredient in growth and every failure - whether by omission or commission - is an opportunity to become better:  more skilled, more responsible, more holy.  To normalize failure in daily conversation supports a lifetime of reaching high.

We know from research and child development experts that the family dinner in and of itself is an important ingredient in academic success.  Perhaps by adding the structure of three questions it could be a platform for much more.  And I have no doubt that listening to our children's responses will inspire our own personal growth.

Bon appetit!